ticktockgrin | Wolf Moon

The world hadn't actually ended, it just seemed like it. Dwayne has to keep telling himself that sometimes, between long nights at the radio, on his endless rounds of the yard perimeter and all the hundred little things that their new home (for now) required to keep running. The world was running on duct tape, spit, and baling wire, limping along, but it *was* still turning.

They'd come pretty damn close, but it wasn't quite over. They were the ones left and that meant they had a lot of work to do.

And maybe most importantly...Josh had officially Survived.

It was hard to believe how many weeks has gone by, but he'd *lived*. Some days were still a little shaky, but the traces of fever were completely gone. The wolf had won, and Dwayne's desperate last-ditch Hail Mary had actually *worked*. Somehow, that made everything right, when he could roll over and watch his mate asleep, warm and well and *alive*.

Now all that was left was for him to get used to the Change, to figure out what kind of wolf he was going to be. There was no going back, but it had saved Josh's life, kept Dwayne from having to go through this hellish epilogue of a world alone, and that alone was worth it... Even if he had any doubts at all that Josh could handle the Change. There would be some acclimatization, some trial and error... That was why Zach was keeping his distance and Rhys spending nights in the little caretaker's cabin... But it would pass.

Josh would have a mate, and a pack, and he would get used to it, given a little time. Dwayne was sure of that, even though the approaching full moon gave him nerves. The first change could be tough, and Josh... He was still recovering.

So Dwayne did all he could to keep things running.

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There's never been even a moment when Josh worried that Dwayne might exploit his hold over him, when he's been anything but grateful for it. For the almost soul deep conviction that even if he can't control himself, he's almost certain that Dwayne will be able to control him. For all that he's never been a man to need or want to give control of his life over to someone else, this makes him feel safe and comforted.

"Is it always like that?" he asks, tipping his head a little in pleasure at the feel of Dwayne's fingers in his hair, at how much more it feels now than it had when he was human. He'd known his vision, scent and hearing would be augmented, but he'd never realized that something as simple as the whisper of a touch could carry so much information or be so profoundly comforting. "I don't need it." He shifts a little so he can mouth at Dwayne's jaw instead of pressing his face into his neck, hands splayed wide, one over his broad back and the other at his chest. Feeling his heart beat in time with the steady, reassuring pulse of it in Josh's ears. "So long as you're here I'm fine."

As much as he'd liked some of the people in Grimm, this was what they had, this was the core of them: the ones that are left, but also the ones that they can rely on for their lives. It's a reason to go on, as hard as it is at times, and a comfort when things are quiet and it almost feels like home.

He's got a job to do and while he's never really been an alpha, he is now, by default. And it's actually not so bad, though he'd never push it beyond what he's already got. It's not the control he likes: it's just knowing at the end of the day that everyone's okay and he didn't screw up.

Okay, so he doesn't exactly aim high but he thinks he isn't doing too badly overall.

"I'm not sure if it gets easier or you just get used to it, but it does get easier." Josh settles against him and Dwayne relaxes too, feeling that tension ease. "At least part of it is probably nerves, too. Once you know how it all goes... and the good parts of it, not just the parts that are rough...it gets better." Yes it's got it's pitfalls and headaches, but after ten years, Dwayne's counted up the pros and cons and overall, he's still pretty sure he came out ahead.

"Long as you're okay. We'll make something to eat in a bit, you're going to need the extra energy." Josh's breath brushes his beard and he grins, running slow, soothing circles on his mate's back. "And just before the moon, you'll always get itchy. There's ways to keep from changing every month, but it sucks. I've managed it three times in ten years and it's my life goal to never have to do it again because it's miserable."

"Good," he murmurs, settling in against Dwayne more firmly. Josh still loves this: that he can curl in against Dwayne and, even though he's significantly bigger, Dwayne's big enough that, sometimes, when he needs to, he can feel small and sheltered against him.

"I've wondered what it would be like for ages, being able to shift and run with you," he admits quietly. He smooths his hand over Dwayne's chest and breathes in, slow and deep, relaxing against him. "Think I would've asked you for this, some day. It's still scary, but it's exciting too."

"I think the choice makes all the difference," Dwayne agrees sleepily. Josh is bigger, but he doesn't always feel like it, and after everything, he feels a little fragile. If Aaron had given Dwayne the choice? Well, he still wouldn't have taken it, but trust was also an issue.

In a little more time, Dwayne could have offered, and it would have worked. This wasn't what they're wanted, but it was enough. "I think it all works out, that's the important thing," he says. "I think it all would have anyway, but... It worked this way, too, and that's what matters." He likes to think about that perfect life sometimes, retired in a nice house in the Caymans, running or ATVing in the dunes and watching the sun set over the beach with frilly drinks and steals on the grill.

But they have this instead, and it's not bad... It's just going to take some work, and adjusting, and a lot of leaning on each other. "You should at least try and jog a little today if you can manage, too, get some stretching in." Josh's muscles are changing even though he hasn't shifted yet, and the exercise is good for shaking off the nerves. He doesn't move, though: it's just a note. For later. "But I think you're gonna be a great wolf. We'll get through the first change, let you have a while to get used to it, and then you can have a chance for the *good* that comes out of... this whole mess."

"We're together and we're alive," he murmurs. "Only thing that matters." He hates the thought but much as he loves Rhys and respects Zach, so long as he has Dwayne he could survive without them, too. This, right here, is all he absolutely has to have to make it, though he'll do absolutely anything he can to keep the others safe. He can already feel the idea of their little pack settling into next to the idea of Dwayne as his alpha, even though he knows he's still not actually safe to be around Zach, and still has to watch himself around Rhys. But that'll pass, he's sure of that, and until it does he has Dwayne.

"I will," he promises, and doesn't move either, because Dwayne obviously doesn't mean now. Instead he shifts his head a little so he can lip at Dwayne's jaw, follow it up with some gentle nibbling as he listens to Dwayne's voice, lets it sink deep into his bones and settle him in a way nothing's ever been able to. "Already got the good out of it, though," he adds, and his grin is impish, though mostly lost with his mouth still pressed to Dwayne's stubbled jaw. "I got you."

Wolf Moon

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